Beauty often seduces us on the road to truth.

Which came first, the music or the misery?

If you got nothing to hide... why are you picking your nose?

That cat in the box... it's dead. Cause YOU looked at it

And how is email finding you these days?

when you have an nft........... you can look at it

The great thing about ironic detachment is that you can pull the plug and call it a joke at any time ;D

Creation requires cooperation. I wish that was taught in schools. Rather than 'follow your heart, but do it quietly'

The dad joke. That's just a term for when you outgrow saying edgy shit to your friends and embrace your final phase as a human... an absolute cheeseball who takes *delight* in che…

Magic is real, and you're a wizard. I believe that. And I believe in you. Now go get that drill and drill 65 holes into your wall at random

The hate watch is perverse. You don't even need to think about it. It just is. Your attention is your world. So stop paying attention to bad things. You're making a bad world for …

Ideas that don't work are just as valuable to the human knowledge base as ideas that do. How many bad ideas have you had today? I've had 12. Keep it up!

Dawg I can miltytask on two monters.

The perfect dictatorship would have the appearance of democracy, a prison without walls in which the prisoners would not even dream of escaping. It would essentially be a system o…

I'll never get over the fact that all you people are just me with the details changed around. I don't really care for it. You know when I go outside, I expect to be treated a cert…

I am quite sure that amidst the hustle and bustle of American life, there is a great deal of wistfulness, of the divine desire to lie in a plot of grass under tall beautiful trees…

Perhaps I don’t understand economics, but economics does not understand me, either.

All animals are under stringent selection pressure to be as stupid as they can get away with

To himself, everyone is immortal. He can know that he is going to die, but he can never know that he is dead

They call themselves right or left but none of them are here

The market does not reward understanding, it rewards utility

Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot …

I have this thing for... women with a pulse

If brains were dynamite, some people wouldn't have enough to blow their nose.

Once academic action trascends into activism, it ceases being academic output, due to intrinsic bias. The moment a researcher adopts a predetermined cause or political aim as a…

America will defend its homeland wherever it appears

They're giving us slop because we're accepting slop. It's a race to see who can fall asleep with their phone in their hand first. It doesn't matter who sees the ads, it only matte…

There is an old Belfast joke about the man stopped at a roadblock and asked his religion. When he replies that he is an atheist he is asked, “Protestant or Catholic atheist?"

There will be a day when business administration gets its haircut. Tech breathes in and out, and right now its breathing out.

never forget 9/11, but do forget tower 7

As a climber, I believe in safety first. That's why not only do I never climb, I maintain a poor fitness and skill level to ensure that I never get tempted to climb

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro

Why do I take so long to take a piss? I'm getting lectures in piss efficiency by people who took 7 years to do their undergrad

You saved me from starvation!

Do you know the difference between a bad joke and a dad joke? The first letter

Gaslight your therapist into thinking you don't have problems, and then get mad when they don't fix them

If you step on a cockroach you're a hero, if you crush a butterfly you're a villain. Morals have aesthetic criteria.

This world is a comedy to those that think, a tragedy to those that feel.

You'd get dumped by an AI girlfriend

*Caelum non animum mutant qui trans mare currunt.* They change their sky, not their soul, those who rush across the sea.

You can't do much for people who are dumb. People like to be dumb because it is easy, but make it hard for them. Argue with them.

Hobo clowns are the most dangerous cuz they're hungry

Take a moment from time to time to remember that you are alive. I know this sounds a trifle obvious, but it is amazing how little time we take to remark upon this singular and gra…

Life was never supposed to be aware of Death.

Without craftsmanship, inspiration is a mere reed shaken in the wind.

You don't try and go into space and up to the moon and Mars and build space stations and so on so you can escape the Earth when you've messed it up. It is the opposite. The ide…

Through neutralizing the smell of gasoline, [catalytic converters] really do a fantastic job of hiding just how much gasoline we are burning

If you resist change because you like the way things are, but others embrace change, where does that leave you? unchanged and behind. is that a good place to be?

It is generally an attractive property of food to not be on the Mohs scale

Matthew Perrished