You may have been given a cactus, but you don't have to sit on it.

You had better behave or I'll wet your lips and stick you to the window

He wouldn’t give ya the steam off his piss

You wouldn't get up on them to get over a wall

You wouldn't ride them into battle/if they had pedals

If there was work in the bed, he’d sleep on the floor

If he fell down he'd be halfway home

If he were any longer, he'd be late.